Thursday, February 13, 2014

humility is not a dirty word.

let me start out by saying, i totally know humility is a crazy good thing and such a beautiful thing that jesus himself was the ultimate example of. however, i feel like somewhere along the way, i got the definition of it all wrong. this is a scary thing to write about, but completely freeing as well.. i've been totally guilty of defining humility in my life as believing that i have no value. meaning that if i showed myself as confident- i would no longer be humble. like, for years and years i have struggled with this. i make excuses for people's compliments, claiming i couldn't possibly be what they say. for every good thing someone says about me, i could think of at least one bad thing.

but what's exciting is god thinks differently than that. 

track with me, but while i thought i was being "humble" by showing no confidence in myself, i was actually being proud. i was very self involved because i thought that everyone cared about or was watching each move i was making because i was so self conscious. i have wrapped myself up tightly in false humility. i've somehow convinced myself that my self deprecating humor was hilarious, or i  made excuses be- i'm just not good enough. luckily, i have some friends who have totally called me out on that lie, and spoken life into me over the years.

in reality, humility is supposed to be the exact opposite of pride. humility is a characteristic that acknowledges the need for jesus. a savior. we are all in need of the grace that only he brings.

"God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble." James 4:6
i wrote a little post on my personal blog about how god has been speaking to me and moving me to have a heart to empower women. that's the root of this little beloved blog. i simply cannot do that if i don't ask him to weed through the junk surrounding my own heart, and change me. change the way i see myself to the way he sees me.
humble yourself in the sight of the lord, and he will lift you up. 

i think it's about time we redefine humility. 

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