I've been wrestling with this word... excellence. It should be a lovely word, but it rubs me wrong. It's got kind of a Martha Stewart vibe. Like a perfect thing. Unattainable and kind of snobby. Excellent. The dictionary defines excellence as being very good of its kind. That should be a good enough reason for me to really want to be excellent, right? But still the word just doesn't sit well with me. Maybe some thesaurus words. Wonderful. Praiseworthy. Valuable.
Anyway, here's the issue I'm running into. My word this year is Persevere. Again, not my favorite word. And in order for me to persevere i'm going to have to use another unfavorite word... discipline. But still, this is the year that God has called me up. The year that He's taking the chisel to me and I can feel it like crazy. But I'm honored. I am in the most uncomfortable, yet hopeful place ever.
Can we get personal? Can I go ahead and tell you some of my deep business. Let's go there, shall we? God has called me to persevere and become excellent in many areas of my life where I just get by. Good Enough is good enough for me, you know what I'm saying?
For my whole marriage, and really my whole life, I've been a girl of OK character. Generally nice. Good Enough student to make OK grades. No scholarships or anything, but mostly As and Bs. I have been obese at a few rough times in my life, but for the most part I hang out around "chubby". Not far off from fit, but not quite. My cleaning habits used to be appalling, now they are decent. My mothering is similar. I'm a nice mom and my kids know I love them, but I'm not really the "let's go to the zoo" kind. I'm Ok in all these departments, but I could be a better housekeeper, wife, mother. I could take better care of my appearance. I could be excellent, technically, but something always stops me there. What is that about?
The Bible says that a wife of noble character is worth far more than rubies. I don't think the Wife of Alright character got a chapter. Did she? I know a slew of women of OK character, and I'd have to say at this point that I am certainly among them. This is where the sifting happens. Where the rubies get sorted.
most perfect print by laceeswan on etsy
The LORD their God will save his people on that day as a shepherd saves his flock. They will sparkle in his land like jewels in a crown. Zechariah 9:16
I definitely want to sparkle like a real gem, not like those gaudy necklaces you get at Target. OK, I love those gaudy necklaces from Target, but there's totally a different and you catch my drift, right?
I find myself at the brink now. I am at the bottom of my chubby scale, meaning if I continue to eat high quality food (like I should, but like I usually don't at this point), I might not be chubby anymore. If I organize my fairly clean house, we might just have a really well run house. If I could read a few more books and cook a little more, I might be considered a pretty darn good mom. I'm on the cusp of excellence and it's requiring more bravery than I ever imagined it could. I'm not entirely sure what will happen, but I gotta give it a go.